


The Depths of Agony

by Honorable Thief (Chyura)



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Focused on their relationship but it's platonic, Found Family, Minor Kitagawa Yusuke/Persona 5 Protagonist, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Persona 5 Protagonist & Sakura Futaba Are Siblings, Persona 5 Protagonist Has A Palace, Phantom Thieves are family. Do Not Separate., Post-Canon, Post-Vanilla Ending, Ren is the most traumatized character in P5 change my mind, Ren went through some shit man and we kinda forget that, Sakura family looking out for each other, Trauma, like very subtle shukita, shukita agenda
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:35:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25883698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chyura/pseuds/Honorable%20Thief
Summary: After experiencing some of the most harrowing moments of his life and shouldering the burdens of a whole society, Ren Amamiya is faced not with support and trust, but with imprisonment and isolation. Having lost everyone he holds dear and left spending endless hours in his own head, his heart begins to sink.
Relationships: Amamiya Ren & Sakura Futaba, Kurusu Akira & Sakura Futaba, Persona 5 Protagonist & Sakura Futaba
Comments: 5
Kudos: 32





	The Depths of Agony

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, so, this is my first return to writing in quite some time but I let some compliments go to my head so here I am. I've given this AU a lot of thought and it should be tonally and thematically consistent with Persona 5's story. If you enjoy it so far please leave a kudos.
> 
> (It's worth noting that this follows the vanilla Persona 5 ending and does not assume the events of Third Semester have happened. It won't contain many elements of Royal in general.)

For the Phantom Thieves, it had been one hard year. For Amamiya Ren, however, it had been a whole year of his life just spiraling out of control. He watched his whole life crumble for committing the heinous crime of defending another person. As if his worldview wasn’t jaded as it was, he lost all chance at a future, and to add salt to the wound his parents callously shipped him away to live under probation in Tokyo. Nobody to call a friend, and no chance at making any with the rumors of his delinquent nature already sweeping the school. All of this, thanks to one powerful asshole.

Fear, paranoia, and doubt were constants. Ren found people like him though. Fellow rebels, delinquents, and fallen heroes, all united towards the goal of bringing justice where society had failed them. It went well until public opinion got out of hand. Ren went from hated, to on top of the world, to hated once again as he was tortured inside a dark interrogation room. It was alright, though. He lived, he did it for his friends, he went home bruised and broken but surviving, with a new drive to fight; and he had his family at his side.

Until he didn’t. Until they disappeared before his eyes. Until the whirlwind of fighting corruption and greed took a hard left that saw them facing down a god. Yaldaboth was not the enemy they anticipated facing when they took their first determined steps into the Metaverse, but it was their greatest triumph yet; the finale to their arduous journey.

And as thanks for saving the world, what did he get? He was arrested. Again.

So here he was. Ren Amamiya, the boy who defeated a god and saved Tokyo from being fused with its hellish nightmare of an underbelly, alone, in juvenile prison. It felt like it was all for nothing. The changing hearts, the hours spent diving deeper and deeper into mementos, the torture, the abuse; was there even a point to any of it? And when he was at his most vulnerable, after the hardest part of his journey, when he needed his friends- his _family-_ the most, he was forcibly ripped away from them.

Here, trapped in a room away from anyone who cared about him, Ren felt like he was drowning.

Here, having exchanged one kind of imprisonment for another, with his persona no longer in his reach, Ren felt the darkness in his heart grow.

* * *

Returning to the outside world should have been a dream. For all of Ren’s friends, it was. After two months of desperate attempts to bring him back to them, they were finally able to see his face again. He was visibly more tired than he was before he left, and thinner, but that was to be expected after the last two months. As soon as Ren entered the café, he was swarmed by his friends, all eager to finally see him again.

As soon as the hugs and ‘how have you been holding up?’ questions were finished, Ren was shuffled into one of the booths as Ann began excitedly catching him up on what he had missed. “Shiho said to say hi for her. She’s been doing really well, but I think trying to make it out here would’ve been hard for her. Mishima also wanted to be here, but he’s been busy lately with sports and school.”

“Everyone has really missed you,” Haru chimed in.

“Yes, it has been quite difficult without you here,” Yusuke mused from his perch by the counter. “Your absence was sorely felt these last couple of months.”

While Ren had assumed his friends would have spent time together with him gone, hearing it said piqued his interest. “I’m glad you all have had each other.”

“Yes,” Haru said, “we’ve done our best to spend time with one another whenever possible, even if we aren’t going into the Metaverse anymore. Oh, last week we had a celebration for Mako-chan because she obtained a very exclusive scholarship!” Haru’s smile was infectious, and Ren couldn’t help but smile back as Makoto blushed next to her.

The bright looks on everyone’s faces made Ren feel at ease. He was content to simply sit and listen to their stories: Ann told him about some new modeling gigs, Yusuke had won an art contest and was slated to have his work shown in two separate galleries the coming spring, and the Shujin track team was doing well in returning to its former glory.

It was also good considering Ren didn’t exactly have much to talk about. Not much happened to him while he was away, mostly a lot of staring at the ceiling of his room and wondering if sleep would return him to the familiar blue walls of the velvet room. Ren found his mind wandering off as the voices around him faded into the background. He’s back, but for how long? In just over a month he’ll be leaving Tokyo behind, and he dreaded the thought of returning to his parents, his old school. He’ll still be able to talk to his friends, sure, but he didn’t feel very optimistic. To Ren it was inevitable that with the distance between them, they would grow apart. He had begun to resign himself to that fact already.

It certainly didn’t help that he’d lost all connection to his Persona. The spirit he could once feel beneath his fingertips was gone, and without it he felt a bit lost. The Metanav app had also disappeared from his phone, and he guessed that even if the Phantom Thieves had wanted to continue their work, they would be unable to. What was Ren without the Phantom Thieves though?

“Ren?” His gaze snapped up to Haru from across the table, who was smiling at him, though not without a hint of worry in her eyes.

To his left, Ryuji lightly elbowed him in the ribs, “Ann was just askin’ if you got our letters! C’mon, where’s your head at, man?” Ren shook his head as he raised a hand to cup his face, rubbing his forehead.

From her seat at the counter, Makoto stepped in, “I’m sure Ren is likely tired and would like some time to settle back in without all of us crowding him.”

Ren was grateful for the distraction from the previous question, because truth be told, he _had_ received the countless letters his friends sent. They sat in a stack on the desk in his room, unopened. He couldn’t bring himself to read them. He would pick one up and stare at the name on it before setting it back down. He didn’t want to be reminded of what he had lost.

Beside Ren, Ryuji groaned. “Aw c’mon man! We just got him back!”

“It’s okay guys. I’m fine.” Ren said with a smile, even as Haru began to gather her things.

“It’s alright Ren, it’s growing late and I should be getting home soon anyway,” she gestured to the darkening street as she pulled on a jacket that absolutely swallowed her tiny frame. “Oh, I was wondering if I could come by soon to get some input on menu ideas.” The question was equally directed at Sojiro and Ren, but Sojiro reminded her that she’s always welcome in the café.

Makoto and Yusuke also stood to take their leave, the latter of whom seemed to remember something he wanted to say.

“Ah, right. Ren, I left something for you upstairs. Consider it a gift, as thanks for your support in my creative endeavors.” Maybe the soft look on Ren’s face betrayed him, but he felt a warmth bloom in his chest at the concept of someone expressing their gratitude for his support. This was chased away by his fatal modesty as he protested Yusuke spending his limited money on Ren. Ann giggled, and Yusuke assured him that it was of no cost to himself.

As Yusuke departed, Ren realized that the warmth in his chest might have just been the warmth settled atop his lap in the form of a sleeping cat. Morgana’s return had been met with joy from everyone in the café, Ren most of all. Mona was the final missing piece of their hobbled together little family and having him back made part of Ren dare to hope that maybe, as a group, they would survive.

Those hopes were dashed when his thoughts returned to the deadline and the return to complacency it would bring. Exchanging one imprisonment for another.

* * *

Ann and Ryuji were the last to depart, reluctant to leave their leader after so long. As they finally filed out of Leblanc, Ren let his shoulders drop, releasing a breath that felt as though it had been trapped in his lungs for hours.

“Wanna play Star Forneus? It’s been a while, I wanna kick your rusty ass.” Futaba asked as she popped up behind Ren, invading his personal space as she leaned over the back of the booth. Rather than shoving her face a way like Futaba expected, Ren only sighed, muttering something about sleeping. Futaba pouted, sliding back to her side of the barrier and pulling out her phone.

Ren closed his eyes, thankful for the quiet now that everyone else had left. He hated that he couldn’t muster the energy to spend time with his friends now that he was finally with them again, but he knew he would have other opportunities to spend time with them.

He opened his again to Sojiro gently touching his shoulder to get his attention. “Why don’t you head upstairs, kid. You can get settled in tomorrow.” It was less a request and more a statement, so Ren nodded and stood as Sojiro told Futaba to take Ren’s bag upstairs for him. It’s not like Ren couldn’t have taken it himself, he didn’t exactly have many personal effects to bring back to Leblanc. Nevertheless, Futaba saluted and sprinted up the stairs, followed by Morgana, Ren trailing behind them.

In two months, the attic had changed little. The star lights on the ceiling, the old TV that he’d spent hours in front of during weekends, everything was as he left it; although looking at the latter resulted in a pang of regret rippling through him. It was comforting, knowing that he wasn’t forgotten by the world once he’d left. This was his home and would always be his home, no matter where he went.

A cough came from behind him. “Me and Haru cleaned up when we heard you were coming home.” Futaba said casually, albeit somewhat nervously. Ren gave a small chuckle in response, but Futaba apprehensively glanced to the side, shifting on her feet as though uncomfortable with the silence. “I… I’m glad you’re here, Ren. It was lonely around without you.” Her voice was small, and her eyes looked somewhat glossy. Ren opened his arms and Futaba practically rushed him, tears gone as quickly as they appeared, with a massive grin splitting her face. “I’m gonna kick your ass if you leave again!” she attempted to say, though the sound was muffled as her face was crushed against Ren’s shoulder.

Ren’s gaze fell to the top of Futaba’s bright orange head and he tried not to dwell on the fact that he wouldn’t be able to be there for his little sister soon. After a moment of quiet, she shoved back, Ren stumbling as she made her exit, flashing a peace sign and reminding him that he owes her an Akihabara trip before disappearing down the stairs.

For a moment Ren stood, taking in the empty attic. He was happy to return, and even more happy now that Morgana was with him. He hadn’t realized how much of a comfort the cat had become, not until he became so restless at night without the familiar weight of his companion in the unfamiliar walls of his cell.

Freeing himself from his thoughts once again, Ren’s eyes turned to the conspicuous painting sat on his bed, likely Yusuke’s aforementioned gift. Picking it up, he immediately recognized the delicate yet deliberate strokes that came with Yusuke’s depictions of Mementos and the shadows. Inside the painting were swathes of red upon a black background. Ren’s eyes were first drawn to the massive black wings taking up most of the canvas, before following them down the slender body, one which appeared human at first glance, but became more uncanny the longer he looked at it. Unmistakably, this was Yusuke’s attempt at capturing Ren’s soul—Arsène.

The persona exuded a sense of power that made Ren think back to his awakening. In the painting, Arsène was surrounded by broken chains. The feeling of breaking free from the chains that bound him; that was a feeling Ren would always remember. It all felt so distant, now. Freedom was just a bittersweet memory and looking at the last tangible connection he had to his persona felt disconcerting. Arsène seemed more intimidating in Ren’s eyes than he had before, but not thanks to any misrepresentation on Yusuke’s part. It was the most accurate presentation of Arsène he could imagine but looking at it felt like a knife twisting in Ren’s heart, a combination of fear and anger bleeding out of it.

For the time being, Ren set the painting against the wall as he returned to his bed, Mona settling into place on his chest. As he got his first decent, dreamless night’s rest in almost a year, something deep inside him continued to grow.


End file.
